I’ve been asked countless times: why 40?
Why put a number tag on age at all?
When I was growing up, turning 40 meant something very different for women. It was often seen as a line in the sand, a marker of "settling down." By the time they reached 40, most women had grown children—if not grandchildren. My own mother followed this path. By 40, she had one daughter who had already flown the nest to explore the world, and another (me) still at home, teetering on the edge of adolescence. Forty, in many ways, was seen as the twilight of a woman’s life: you were middle-aged, society nudged you into a quiet, home-bound existence, perhaps with a cat for company. "That’s it," people would think, as though the best years were behind you.
But of course a lot of change in last couple decades and so too have the stories we tell ourselves about age, womanhood, and what it means to grow older.
In the past decades, one of the most critical shifts has been women finding their voices, speaking up about the realities of their lives, and challenging outdated stereotypes. Movements like #MeToo, which burst into the global consciousness in 2017, are powerful examples of women not only reclaiming their narratives but also demanding that society confront deeply embedded issues of gender inequality.
Of course, the rate at which these changes are felt depends a lot on where you live and how information reaches you. In some parts of the world feels like some women rights have not moved or are shrinking because of war, political and religious power fights, but that is a different topic and matter to discuss. In the meantime UK, for instance, conversations about menopause, reproductive health, and the challenges women face during their periods are far more visible and openly discussed than in places like Lithuania, where these topics often remain cloaked in silence or stigma.
But of course we could discuss for hours the changes in all the parts of society. Take, for instance, Kate Winslet’s recent Article The Times, She told that She wanted to play Lee Miller in midlife "because women are under -represented in that age... and what she did was f***ing unbelievable .... In many ways I felt more similar to her then almost any character I 've played before". It’s a bold statement that taps into something profound—the feeling that women, especially as they age, are finally being seen for the complex, vibrant people they are.
But why does this all matter when we talk about 40?
Because now, for many women, 40 and over 40 is no longer an endpoint—it’s a new beginning. It’s a time when many of us feel stronger, more confident, and more in control of our lives. Far from "settling down," women are starting businesses, changing careers, and embracing new freedoms that were once deemed out of reach. My sister is a perfect example.. Nearing 40, she and her husband moved to a different city - as she got a better job and at 40 she became a mum for the firs time— a very different trajectory from our mother’s life.
So yes, we still ask, “Why 40?” But perhaps the real question is: why not 40? 50? 60? 70? 80? Why not use this milestone to redefine our lives, to break free from old narratives, and to celebrate the power that comes with each passing year?
This is Ana's story from women 40 over 40 portrait project;
ANA 65 years old gifted herself a portrait photoshoot experience for her birthday.
This woman went through a lot in her life. Two complicated relationships with two complicated men that ended in divorce. It left a lot of scars but also gave her two amazing daughters. In the past decade she worked as a bus driver and she loved every bit of this job. Ana went to retire just recently and is on the way to explore Europe on her own. Just to make some changes in her life.
I asked Ana, what advice would she give to younger herself if she had a chance to meet with her, that's what she said:
"If I met myself again, 20 years younger, I would tell her - do not get married so young. BUT it is easy to say that now, because when I was young there wasn't much for women to choose from. Either worked in the offices. I couldn't go to the police or the army because I was too small. So it is either office work, nursing that I did not wanted do it.. So yea I would definitely say to her - do not marry so young. Live your life first until you know what to do, because at twenty you do not know what you want to do. I think around by forty, I would say, is probably the best time. Especially now with technology help you can have a child at an earlier age."
Ana shed a tier when the hair and makeup was done. She needed to see that she is amazing, beautiful and above all strong women and not the opposite that she had felt over years.
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